S2 E12: Amazing Grace: A Tribute to Grace Hoger Kerr

Grace, Bill, Danielle, and Barbara

Bill Kerr, Danielle Esposito, Grace Kerr

Grace & Barbara

Grace and Danielle, 1995

Grace and Danielle, 2017

Barbara and Danielle, 2018

Bill, Grace, Barbara, and family

Danielle sings “He’ll Carry You” by Hillary Weeks, at Grace’s request

Danielle performs “He Will Carry You” by Hillary Weeks, at Grace’s request.

Team Grace in Action

Team Grace in Concert

Team Grace in Rehearsal

Joni O'Hagan (former student), Sarah Hoger (Grace's sister), Grace, Bill, and Barbara Rainiere

Joni O'Hagan, Sarah Hoger, Barbara Rainiere

Barbara & Ross Rainiere and daughter Adella

Lyric-swap for "Lean on Me"

Grace visits California

Valley Stream North High School Winter Concert, 1993

Valley Stream North High School 1993 Summer Outdoor Concert

Danielle will survive - hey hey!

Danielle & VP Bob Thornton

Episode Transcript

Intro [00:00:07] Hello and welcome to In Unison, the podcast for choral conductors, composers and choristers, where we interview members of our choral community to talk about new music, new and upcoming performances, and discuss the interpersonal and social dynamics of choral organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. We are your hosts. I am Zane Fiala, Artistic Director of the International Orange Chorale of San Francisco. And I'm Giacomo DiGrigoli, a tenor in IOCSF, the Golden Gate Men's Chorus and the San Francisco Symphony Chorus. And this is In Unison.

Giacomo [00:00:45] Hey, everyone, on today's episode of In Unison, we're going to switch things up a bit. This week marks a time of remembrance for me of someone who was quite formative and special, not just in my musical life, but in my life in general. That person was my high school choir teacher, Grace Hoger Kerr.

Zane [00:01:08] You might be wondering, why is this the subject of an episode of In Unison? Why focus on the story of just one high school teacher's impact? Well, so far on this podcast, we've mostly chatted with community and professional choirs, but many of us probably began our choral singing journey when we were much younger. Well, there's often a distinct reason many of us start, and continue to sing throughout our lives. And it's because we've been inspired by someone like Grace.

Giacomo [00:01:37] Singing in choirs is about more than just expressing ourselves through song. It's about the communities we form with each other, often forging relationships that last a lifetime. So today we wanted to take a moment to remember the folks like Grace, who instilled in many of us that first little inspiration to sing.

Zane [00:01:54] We're hoping you'll leave today's episode with a renewed sense of appreciation, not just for the power of choral arts to bring people together for a lifetime, but also for the people who have inspired us all along the way. [Soft, flowing piano music begins to play, creating a sentimental atmosphere. The music continues to play beneath the next several paragraphs of speaking.]

Zane [00:02:16] From 1989 to 2003, Grace led the 7th- through 12th-grade choirs at Valley Stream North High School on suburban Long Island, New York. Through her 15 years of teaching, Grace gave hundreds of students their first experiences singing in choirs, trained young voices for musical theater and prepared them for adjudicated programs like NYSSMA, all-county and all-state choirs. Practically out of a fairy tale, Grace met and fell in love with the school's band director, Bill Kerr. They soon married, and Grace went on to start her own family, giving birth to her son, Tim, in 2001. In 2003, Grace retired from teaching to focus on raising Tim, but remained on Long Island and became involved in the PTA. Teaching was more than a job for Grace. She went above and beyond her duties as a teacher to mentor and nurture the talents, hearts and minds of so many of her students, no matter what they were going through.

Giacomo [00:03:16] After I graduated from high school, many of my classmates and I lost touch, but Grace's lessons stuck with us as we navigated adult life. And then four years ago, many of us were brought back together under unfortunate circumstances. At the young age of 52, grace had been diagnosed with cancer, and in 2018 she passed away. To show our love and support, her family, and many of Grace's former students, friends and colleagues got together to form what we called Team Grace, a support network that eventually also became a pick up choir of sorts, culminating in a performance for Grace in 2017. To help tell Grace's story. Today, we're chatting with two of Grace's former students who are also my dear high school choir friends that I got the opportunity to reconnect with three years ago, Barbara Maurer Raniere and Danielle Esposito. Together we'll share a bit more about what Grace meant to us all and how her spirit continues to shine through our lives to this day.

Giacomo [00:04:27] So joining me today, I've got two friends who are joining Zane and I today. We've got Barbara Maurer Raniere—am I pronouncing your last name correctly, or am I just butchering that?

Barbara [00:04:36] Perfect.

Giacomo [00:04:36] And Barbara, maybe tell us a little bit about yourself.

Barbara [00:04:41] Sure. I am a choir teacher in a middle school in Baldwin, Long Island, New York, and have been doing that for twenty one years now. I have two daughters. I'm married to... My husband's name is Ross. I sing in a band. I used to sing in a band until covid hit. I played in a pipe band [laughs] (a little bizarre fact about me), and Grace has made such an impact in my life. I can't even measure it. So I'm happy to be here.

Giacomo [00:05:19] Thank you. And we also have joining us today our dear friend, Danielle Esposito. Danielle, tell us a little bit about you.

Danielle [00:05:27] I am a teacher. I ran some restaurants. I have an 18 month old baby girl who surprised me at 40. And music has been a huge part of my life my whole life, whether it's just singing or listening or, you know, performing in plays and shows. And it's been quite a while since I've done anything like that. But I have been in some bands in the past few years and my husband is a musician as well. So music is huge in our house. We have guitars everywhere and I don't know, random instruments lying around. I'm definitely hoping to help our daughter, you know, pursue a love for music as well. And Grace had a huge part of that for sure.

Giacomo [00:06:21] Yeah, 100 percent. I think, to set the stage a little bit for everyone who's listening, the three of us all went to school on Long Island in the early to mid 90s. I think we all graduated at some point within there. I might be a few years older... Don't tell anyone. [laughter] But we all we all intersected with Grace right around that time. And so maybe in your own words and maybe to let people know who was Grace Kerr, and who was she to you specifically?

Barbara [00:06:54] I was fortunate enough to know Grace from, I guess when we were twelve in 7th grade up until, I guess college.. Somewhere in the college years. And then I kind of just lost track a little bit, but then when I started working in Baldwin, it happened to be the school district that she lived in. So her son was in my school, so that just brought her right back into my life, like where she totally needed to be. And so I have like when when I was in school with her, she was this huge role model and she was funny and sarcastic and she was like our second mom. We lived in that choir room and wanted to go to rehearsals after school and all the lessons during the day. And she was just the coolest person, you know, compared to our orchestra teacher...

Danielle [00:08:02] This part might need to be edited out. And this is why.

Giacomo [00:08:07] Oh, I thought... We played in that orchestra together.

Barbara [00:08:12] Yes, we did. But she was just, it was just amazing she... Everybody loved her. It didn't matter whether you were a music nerd or an athlete or a cheerleader or failing or, you know, like it just didn't matter what type of student you were, like what type of person you were. Everyone loved her and she loved everybody. She gave her all. Now, looking back and seeing what she did, as a teacher and as a mom and looking back at her around the same age, it's just she gave so much of herself. She was at the rehearsals for musicals and the outdoor concerts and and even just like writing to former students and keeping in touch. And, you know, that was what I was blessed to find when I was working in Baldwin. I would see her at every concert. I had her in the audience. It was like this big circle of life. And it was like here coming out of the concert and seeing her and Bill. And, you know, sometimes Grace's family, sometimes Bill's family, it was their parents and siblings and hearing her compliment me as a director, it was just, you know, it was mind blowing. But then having me over for dinner and just spending time with her and having these conversations, she just became, you know, a very dear friend. So aside from all of the school stuff, I was really blessed to know her as an adult.

Giacomo [00:10:01] Danielle, how about for you?

Danielle [00:10:05] For me? Grace was kind of like, she was a mentor, she was a teacher, she was my second mom. I had a really colorful childhood and adolescence and she really guided me through that. I mean, we had her for junior high and high school in the same school. So it was 7th to 12th grade. So it was six years. And in six years, you really know somebody in and out and up and down. And she would call me on my shit, but she was the reason I stayed in school. I mean, she was the reason I graduated. She was the reason that I never gave up. She was the reason I wanted to go to school. If I cut school, I didn't cut chorus. If I was going to be anywhere, it was going to be in chorus. She would argue with me when I would have auditions, or if I was in a play, it'd be like, "that's not my job. I have too much going on. I can't help you." And then the next day, you know, she'd have the music out and have learned the song and have a recording for me like it was just, you know, "come on, you know you can do it," you know, whatever. She just would never, like, leave me hanging, even though she said she would, you know.

Danielle [00:11:26] Yeah. She just really was a really big influence during that time. And I was looking through these old letters and she, we both had birthdays in August, so throughout high school over the summer, she would send me birthday cards. And it was the big joke like, oh, she was my mom and this and that. And then after high school, I have all these letters she wrote me in college. I was showing Barbara today all the letters in that first year she would write "and make sure to say hi to Barbara for me." And then we kept in touch after that. I have all these I'm going to actually try and put them together for Tim at some point. But all these cards and letters about her pregnancy and how she was feeling during that time and being excited to be a mom, and then she would send me pictures of like Tim when he was a baby and all as he was growing up. And, you know, there was a time where we lost contact as well for a few years. And then I remember finding her when I lived in Brazil through email and we got back right back in touch. And, you know, throughout that time I had gone to their house when Tim was a baby.

Danielle [00:12:43] And then I think I had moved away. And it was just it was a really special relationship that we had and she... You know, I'll share some of the letters with you guys later, but she definitely, it was reciprocated in a lot of ways. Even though we lost contact and then we got back in touch, it was as if no time had passed. And that was really amazing. She saved me then. And with everything that happened with the funeral, it was another very confusing time, and she had put together her own funeral and she had told her sister she picked a song that she thought was in my range, that she wanted me to sing and told Bill. And Bill emailed me and asked me if it was something I'd want to do. And it was like, the most special meaningful thing ever for me. I had been traveling and I was just so all over the place and just came back and didn't know what I was doing with myself. And for somebody from all that time ago to have felt like I made some kind of impact on them, to ask that of me was like, it again, just reminded me of a really special relationship in that you can have an impact on people and sometimes they don't even know it. The effect of it. So. Yeah, she's definitely a big part of my story.

Giacomo [00:14:15] Absolutely love that. But what are some of your favorite memories with Grace? When you think back on that time? What are some of the things that stand out?

Danielle [00:14:23] The best was when I got suspended and... I got suspended. It wasn't my fault... My senior year... [laughs] I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Wait, junior year. And I had cut school to go on the senior trip because I was friends with all the seniors. But I had my dad call in and say I wasn't coming in that day. And I thought that was OK because he said it was OK and it wasn't. And so they called... you know, they called it in. and she was good friends with, what was the assistant principal? Gordon?

Barbara [00:14:58] Thornton.

Danielle [00:15:00] Thornton. She was good friends with him. And I was supposed to sing at the talent show that next week. And if you got suspended, you weren't allowed to sing at the next performance. Or maybe it was the outdoor concert. So she actually spoke to him for me on my behalf, kind of telling me, but not telling me that like if you go and apologize to him, maybe he'll let you still perform because it was like the only thing I had was performing. And I groveled. Like, "I didn't mean it. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong" or whatever. And he completely let me perform. So at the next outdoor concert, she insisted that I sing, "I Will Survive" and call him up. And so she made him come up so that I could tell him that I survived being suspended. And it was just, those are things that she did. I mean, kind of had to be there, but...

Giacomo [00:15:55] There are photos, there's photo evidence that we'll be putting alongside this episode, which is fantastic.

Barbara [00:16:01] You have a very disco-ey shirt on.

Danielle [00:16:03] It was a disco theme.

Barbara [00:16:03] Yeah.

Danielle [00:16:04] It was like a 70s theme. So that was like she just knew how to be funny and sarcastic and use her humor to everybody's advantage, even his, even mine, in a way that it just came around to a point that we all just felt so comfortable in that presence. It's a gift.

Giacomo [00:16:29] Barbara, how about you?

Danielle [00:16:30] I was thinking about this before, and it's just there's so many, but we were doing Bye Bye Birdie. I think you were gone at that point, Giacomo, right?

Giacomo [00:16:42] I think so.

Barbara [00:16:43] And so I was Mama. I was Mama Petersen. And I couldn't get, like, how to be old. I couldn't get the voice and I couldn't get the like, the movement. So I remember. Yeah. So I was getting, like, conflicting... Conflicting assistance from all these different people. So the first time I'm on the stage and I'm doing this old lady and it's all wrong, it's just all wrong. And all of the adults in the room just started like, you know, like snort laughing because they just didn't know what the hell I was doing. But it was like I was taking little bits of what everybody told me to do and trying to do it. So I was so embarrassed and I ran into the girls bathroom and I'm like just sitting on the floor pouting, you know, I'm 17 or whatever. I don't know. And she came in and she's like, "what the hell was that?" [all laughing] "What was that?!" And I'm like, "I don't know!" And she's just like, "get up, come on. You know, get up. Go do your old lady." You know, she probably was throwing out the Long Island accent, you know, Long Island old lady and whatever. Just her humor just helped me just not take myself seriously anymore. And I was like, alright, this is just fun, let me just relax, because I was very serious.

Giacomo [00:18:15] Oh, I love it. I have to say, one of my one of my favorite or earliest memories of Grace also involves just a sense of irreverence. I remember that. Literally, literally irreverence, because I remember Grace is one of how many daughters? I think she's one of four. She's one of four. And she was a preacher's daughter.

Barbara [00:18:34] Yeah.

Giacomo [00:18:35] And she was the rebel. And I always just always thought it was hilarious when she would describe herself as being this rebellious kid. I was like, you're a chorus teacher. How rebellious could you possibly be? But I mean, there was a spirit or... Yeah, Zane is nodding his head, he's like, I don't know, I'm pretty rebellious... But it's true because one of the things that I remember she taught me and one of the lessons that I took away and one of my earliest memories from her, I actually didn't come to officially being in choir until my sophomore year in high school, because (and she hadn't started in until I was in eighth grade), but I was sort of trapped in this mindset, this mentality that was like, no, no, you're first chair in orchestra, which is very, very serious, very serious. Because you're a very serious kid. You study, you're very serious. And and I really, really, really wanted, you know, I had been doing musical theater and had been singing. And I loved it. It was such a passion and I just enjoyed it. And sadly, people, you know, other teachers, unfortunately, would say things like, oh, singing is for the dumb kids. You don't do that. That's just... Who does singing. It's just really awful things to say. And Grace was the first person who really pulled me aside and said, you know what? You can do whatever you want. There are other people who are going to have whatever expectations they may have. They're going to say this. They're going to say that. And she did that thing that she does where she was brushing off her shoulders and her, you know, beanpole thin self would just be like, you know, whatever, shakin it off. And I think of that lesson all the time in the way that she just shrugged off whatever it was that other people said you think you should do.

Giacomo [00:20:06] And I think it was just that Grace sort of knew things about all of us that we didn't know about ourselves. Very early on she just saw things about us that were like, you're more special than you realize and you're letting people tell you what your life is going to be and you can't do that. And I thought that was just one of those fantastic lessons that has just stuck by me my whole life. And I'm sure that you all have lessons and things that are that, you know, Grace has taught you over the course of time. But that was one that really stuck out to me. And I remember that moment where she was like, it doesn't matter. Great, you'll get an F in music. Who cares? You'll be doing the thing that you love doing. You should do that. Um, what are some things that stick out to you that are just lessons you took away from from Grace?

Barbara [00:20:48] I was thinking about, you know, what I was going to say today, tonight. And what you just said is exactly what I kept coming back to, how she just knew how special we were and she knew what was special about each one of us because she really cared, you know. I mean, I guess that's the benefit of having such a small school and having the same teacher for six years. And she just saw things in us that we didn't see in ourselves yet. And she just encouraged us to go for it. I remember I had, like, this much confidence and she insisted that I do a solo, and I was like, me? You want me to do a solo? And I think like some other person was like, oh, I'll do it, I'll do it. And she's like, no, Barbara's doing it. And she made me do this solo. And it was not a big deal. It was a short solo. But to me it was huge because it was the first time that somebody had really believed in me, that I was the right one to do it. And she insisted. She was like, no, this is for you. No one else is going to do this. You're going to do this. I know you're going to do a great job. And I was I had no confidence in myself, but she saw it all. And I mean she just saw things in us, but I also... She was named perfectly because she's the epitome of grace. She just, she walked the walk and she talked the talk and she just... People... Everyone who was around her just couldn't help but feel that that grace and that warmth. Students' parents that I became close with, it turns out a lot of them were friends with Grace because of living in the same community. And, you know, just the things that they all had to say about her. It wasn't just as a teacher was as a human being. She was just... Amazing.

Danielle [00:23:01] I just wanted to add to that whole thing about her recognizing things in people. So I used to sing at a very young age, but I was very shy and I would sit under the dining room table and sing. You know, and they're like, sing this song, and I would like crawl under the table and sing for my family because I was just very shy about that. And a funny thing, I forgot that Valerie was your cousin.

Giacomo [00:23:28] Yes.

Danielle [00:23:29] So this girl was in our chorus and she was loud... And loud, and loud. And you heard her above everybody and Grace... And she was a year older, right? She was a year older I think.

Giacomo [00:23:46] Mmmhmm.

Danielle [00:23:47] So I guess 7th and 8th grade, we kind of got to know each other, but Valerie was like the singer and whatever, and I was like the quiet person in the front row because I was short. And in chorus Grace assigned seats. And so I think it was eighth grade. So Valerie would have been in ninth grade. She put me next to her because, and we talked about this later on, because she knew the only way I was going to sing louder was if I had somebody next to me who was singing loud, because I was not going to find my voice any other way than to have something to be singing with. And that that was what completely helped me kind of get to that point where I got a little bit of confidence. I was still very like Valerie was like the singer and I was a little bit intimidated by her, but it totally brought me to a place of breathing and singing and being able to vocalize where I was at. And, you know, that wouldn't have happened if she didn't make that call.

Zane [00:24:52] You know, oftentimes when schools are looking at budget constraints, one of the first things to go is music programs. And obviously it's clear from what we've heard from all three of you that, you know, Grace had a really strong impact on your lives, but not just in the world of making music together. And so I was wondering if each of you could take a moment and tell us about something that you learned from Grace in the music classroom that you then took into your lives, took forward that has informed the way you are as a person, something that you didn't get or couldn't have gotten from any other teacher. Basically make an argument for why arts should not be the first thing cut.

Giacomo [00:25:44] I've got one right off the bat, which is one that has been taught to me many, many times. Listen louder than you sing.

Barbara [00:25:52] Mmm.

Danielle [00:25:52] I think that the way that she built confidence and created a safe space for everybody was one of the most meaningful things about the experience, because we would... You wanted to walk past the chorus room and see if she was in there and had a minute to talk to you or sneak in for a quick second on your way to the bathroom and just say hi to Grace. That room, that space that she created in there. It was our home away from home if you were involved in music. And we weren't just hanging out doing nothing, we were in there learning and growing and and singing and and doing all that, but also being mentored by somebody who allowed us to have that time and space and moment to hear us. And I think that that was... You can't get that in a math classroom, you can't get that in... And you can, that's not to say that there aren't other teachers that also provide that for their students. But in this particular area, when it comes to the arts and making music together, there's something... It's an... It's an experience, you know, you have an experience together. When we sang "Carol of the Bells" and we like sang it at that concert and we rocked it. I'll never forget that. We were like, wow, that was really good. I mean, it was, you know, your voices coming together and unifying and harmonizing. And I mean, that's an experience that is created from having the opportunity to do that and having a mentor like that to guide you through that, and create that is... It's the perfect combination.

Barbara [00:27:51] Like I always think of "This Little Babe." Your, you did that one.

Danielle [00:27:53] Yes, that one too.

Barbara [00:27:56] That was like the epitome right there of like, oh, my God, I felt that.

Danielle [00:28:01] Yeah, exactly. I mean, I grew up in a gospel church and it was all about... you felt the music. It was an experience. Whether, and even today when I talk to people go to Jazz Fest, they're like, my favorite was the gospel tent, and I'm not even religious. I'm like, you don't have to be religious to feel that. That's that's a feeling. You know, that's a vibe. And she gave us that.

Barbara [00:28:24] Well, I'm biased because it's what I do. I wouldn't have a job if we got rid of music, but, what I learned, and, you know, there are lots of different music programs out there. A lot of them are competition and award and awards based and the best choir and blah, blah, blah. And you know, going to NYSSMA, you know, as a choir. And we never did anything like that. Or very theory based. Lots of sight singing and lots of like drilling information and knowledge. And and I've thought a lot about that versus what we got and like you said, Danielle, it was, she gave us joy. Like when we were in that room, it was about the connections that we made. It was about singing together. It was about creating this beauty with our bodies and our voices and our souls and coming together. And, you know, not to say like you said, sure, our math teacher could make us feel special or social studies. But I mean, I, I feel it. And this is what I try to pass on to my students. I just try to give them joy, especially right now. I want them to come into my room and just, just be able to let go and sing and feel like a team and feel like a community. And she did that, and it was... It didn't matter that we didn't go to competitions or learned the circle of fifths. Like it didn't matter because she planted something in us that, you know, 25, 30 years later, here we are, you know, and that that's... Nobody else could've done that, in my opinion.

Giacomo [00:30:32] Let's fast forward a little bit to a little bit of a darker time, it's a little bit of a sadder time. And I want to talk a little bit about Team Grace. And for our listeners, Team Grace is the name of the sort of collective all of us who got together when we heard some pretty dreadful news about Grace's health, which ultimately sort of wound up in her demise, sadly. But it was this very interesting rallying point, I think, for all of us. For us, her past students, her family, her friends, her community, to sort of get together. Tell us a little bit about what you thought when you first heard the news and then when you heard about Team Grace.

Barbara [00:31:18] I was very close with a parent who was very close with Grace and very, very good friends. And she called me—the friend—at work. And she said, I just need to know if you know about Grace. And I said no. I had just seen her at a football game. She was hanging out in the bleachers at the high school with Bill. And Tim was there probably in the marching band or... And I’d just seen her. She was fine. We had a nice conversation. And she said, I just wanted to just tell you so it doesn't... so you don't hear it from somebody else, you know, that she was diagnosed with cancer. And and I just like, you know, it was like the world stopped and people say that, but it was like everything, just like, no, no she doesn't. Like, that can't be right. And then we talked a little bit, and I hung up the phone and thanked her for telling me. And I checked my email. And there was already a message from Grace saying, I I need to tell you this. I want you to hear it from me and, just, I just couldn't. I couldn't believe it, you know, for somebody so amazing and beautiful and who did so much good everywhere she was. For her to be dealing with that. And so I was, I think I was on the phone with Joni Alexievich and and I kept saying, you know, later on with Team Grace, I kept saying she needs to have her like Mr. Holland's Opus moment. You know, she needs to see just how many people she influenced and how many people love her. And so we started just sending out messages and, you know, made a Facebook page, and it spread, you know. And everybody was so in and it was just amazing. That was probably, you know, when I look back on my life, having that concert for her, that team Grace evening for her that we all did, that that was probably one of the best things I've ever done as a human being for somebody else. I don't know if you saw the look on her face, I mean, just when she turned around and saw everybody in that church that was there for her was just wonderful. And I'm crying.

Giacomo [00:34:18] I think we're all getting a little misty. Danielle, maybe you can tell us a little bit about... Shifting from Team Grace and that concert to Grace's memorial, which of course, she meticulously planned for herself and chose all of the music. One of the pieces that she chose was a piece she asked you to sing. Maybe you can tell us a little bit about it and we'll put it up on the website as well.

Danielle [00:34:38] Yes. So in her updates, she was keeping us updated and they were numbered. And in one of the updates, this song was actually on it. It was Hilary Weeks. And it's called "Help Carry You" and it's a really beautiful and sad and amazing song. But after she had decided to stop treatment and go into hospice, the first thing that happened was everybody on Facebook was like, no, Grace, don't give up Grace, no Grace, keep fighting Grace and this and that. And it started to really bother me because I felt like that wasn't the right thing to say to her at that time. So I wrote something on Facebook that I didn't realize they had seen. And it was something to the effect of, you know, when somebody says that they're at peace with what's happening, that doesn't mean they're giving up. They're they're they're surrendering to it. And they're and they're at peace. They've made their peace with the next phase and the next step. And we have to support that. So telling her to keep fighting is maybe not what she needs to hear right now. She's come to this conclusion that this is the best thing to do. And I think Bill actually used that in his eulogy because he felt like that was exactly you know, I just I felt so strongly that way about it. And I was hoping I wasn't offending anyone. I didn't put her name in it. But I I had to say something because I was just like, you guys need to stop continuing to tell her to fight. Like she, she's fought as hard as she can. And so anyway, that that week that she had decided to stop the treatment, Bill sent me an email and her sister called me as well to ask me, to tell me, she's a very organized person. You know how organized she is. And she always considered you her daughter. And you always considered her your second mom.

Giacomo [00:36:50] This is her sister, Sarah, who also helped organize who was also just an angel among humans as well.

Danielle [00:36:57] Yeah. Sarah and Bill both contacted me separately and asked me, you know, she has put together her funeral and she has asked one of her former students, a male student to—I didn't know it was you, they never used your name—to perform a piece. And she's also, you know, she really thought long and hard about what would fit with your voice and has asked that you would sing this particular song that she thinks would be in your range. And if you're up for it, that's what she wants. And it was like, a moment that pulled me back to why we're here. And it was what I needed, you know, I needed her back then and I needed her now and she and she did that for me again with that request.

Giacomo [00:37:49] It's amazing when you bring that up, because the truth is that the piece that she asked me to sing, which was the "Simple Song" from Bernstein's Mass, which I think many of us know. It was the first song she ever taught me and it was the first time she ever sat me down and was like, OK, I guess you're ready for this one now. This is very important. It's very important. You can learn the song. And what's amazing is that that gift has continued to keep giving my whole life. Because, it was after Grace's passing that I finally got up the gumption to say, you know what, I think I've been doing this choral singing thing enough and went and auditioned for the San Francisco Symphony. And you have to prepare a solo. And what other song was I going to sing except for that one. From the very sort of first thing that I ever learned. I'm like, I got 30 years of experience. I think... I hope I can sing this song now. And it really was, she was very much in my heart during that time because I thought, you know, whatever was going to happen is going to happen. It's going to be fine. But when you listen to the lyric and the text, I mean, what a fitting piece for her, right, to just sing, sing a song, sing a simple thing. It doesn't matter. Make it up. Just put your heart and soul into it. Put your back into it, and whatever's going to happen is going to happen. And I always thought that there was just a really beautiful and fitting way to like I still think of her every time I hear that piece come on. And yeah, I just think of the gift that she has given, not just then, but now and that she continues to give us.

Barbara [00:39:14] Well, I just have to say, you know, that that memorial was difficult, very, very difficult, but sitting there and seeing the two of you and hearing the two of you was... It was amazing, you know. Growing up with you guys and seeing you two at that moment, it was just it was very special for everybody sitting there as well. So thank you. You all, you helped us all through that very difficult moment.

Giacomo [00:39:51] Well, and I think what's beautiful, what's amazing is that this conversation is yet another one of her gifts, because I feel like she knew something. She knew that these people were all going to be together and they're in each other's lives at some point in some way.

Barbara [00:40:05] I just have one other thing if it's OK. I remembered that I had done something with one of my choirs right after she passed for one of our spring concerts. I had them sing this song, "One Small Voice." And, you know, the gist of it is that one small voice can teach the world a song and make a difference. [A live recording of "One Small Voice" sung by Barbara's sixth grade chorus plays. A piano accompanies the kids' voices. It is an innocent and heartwarming sound, full of joy and hope for the future. The song continues to play in the background for several minutes behind the conversation.]

Barbara [00:40:49] I had my sixth graders sing that, and at the end, I, you know, I rambled into the microphone that this was dedicated to her.

Barbara [00:41:06] I just wanted to thank you, Giacomo, for asking me to be a part of this. Because speaking of Grace and speaking with all of you and reminiscing about our time with her, it really rekindled my flame as a music teacher. This year has been probably—not probably—has been the most difficult year for me in my career at a time where I can't sing really with my students. There are no performances, there is no team community feeling. I can't reach them that way. But being a part of this, it really made me see my value as a music teacher and realized that I can still be that light for them. I can still be their safe place, their happy place. I can still see what's special in them and let them know just how important and wonderful they are.

Giacomo [00:42:23] I love you all. Love you guys. Thank you so much for doing this.

Barbara [00:42:26] Thank you so much for doing this and including us.

Danielle [00:42:29] Yeah, for sure.

Giacomo [00:42:31] Grace gave us so many gifts over the years, and at her memorial, we were all presented with her final gift. Grace had spent her last months recording a CD of spirituals to remind us to find beauty and love in the world. I can't imagine a more fitting end to today's episode than to leave you with a bit of Grace's own voice. Here's Grace Kerr singing Amazing Grace. And yes, she certainly was. [A simple and warm rendition of the song "Amazing Grace" is sung by a solo female voice with piano accompaniment. It is heartfelt and genuine, pure, and honest.]

Outro [00:44:08] Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the In Unison podcast. If you've got ideas for our podcast, please send us a message at ideas@inunisonpodcast.com. And who knows, maybe Chorus Dolores will ask us to talk about it during announcements. In Unison is sustained, nourished, and fostered by you, our loyal and loving listeners. And don't forget to subscribe to In Unison on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. You can find us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @inunisonpod. And hey, if you like what you heard, tell a friend or a section mate. Thanks again for tuning in. See you soon.

Chorus Dolores [00:46:32] Merchandise design spuriously reviewed for nothing but personal taste by Chorus Dolores, who knows we're still sight singing, but can we just fix the vowels in measure 42, please?

Credits [00:46:43] In Unison is produced and recorded by Mission: Orange Studios. Our theme music is Mr. Puffy, written by Avi Bortnick, arranged by Paul Kim, and performed by the Danish vocal jazz ensemble Dynamic on their debut album, This Is Dynamic. Special thanks to Paul Kim for permission. Be sure to check them out at dynamicjazz.dk.